We have all witnessed it before. The horror of the lifeless, soulless coffee from the company coffee service. The dangerous mediocrity of the vast majority of coffee from coffee services is really a silent killer. A silent killer of productivity that is. For most of us, work is not fun (unless you work for True Republic Roasters, then work rules!) and the combination of unfun work and bad coffee is like a one two punch to that gland thingy in your brain that makes you happy, the hippopotamus valve or whatever.
Anyway, the boys heard about one such office. An office on the verge, the precipice even, of a total shutdown in productivity. “Can’t have that”, Mellow Monk was heard to say. “Who cares”, Deviant Devil was also heard to say. He’s like that, you know being Deviant Devil and all. “Aw come on, this is the perfect situation for the rich Brazilian bean with it’s cocoa undertones and silky smooth finish accented by the sweet maples and smoky aroma of your whiskey infusion”. The Monk was really good at buttering up the Deviant Devil. “Besides, imagine the look on the bosses face when that delicious whiskey infused aroma comes wafting out of the break room”.
“Alright already! I’ll do it. I will single handedly bring this company back from the verge of a catastrophic loss of production. I will give it’s listless employees something to look forward again. I will bring them hope”. “Quit being such drama queen” chimed in the Relaxing Rebel, “and do it already or I will”. And he would too. The Relaxing Rebel loves to start a party.
So the very next day the Deviant Devil made his appearance in the company’s break room. He vanquished the old boring mediocre and tasteless coffee service coffee. He slew that productivity killing beast. “That’s enough already!” (The Relaxing Rebel). Fast forward to today and there has been a major turn around at the company. What was that company you ask? Apple? IBM? Uber? Probably not, we don’t know, we forgot to ask.
The moral of the story is don’t be a victim of sucky coffee and it’s productivity killing powers. Get yourself some Deviant Devil and Be Proud Of Your Coffee.